Wheee! I’m off to shoot with www.northernspanking.com later today, and I’m so excited 🙂 This is why I know I’m happier being a spanking model than a spanking producer – it’s a lovely feeling, just having to turn up and act, really just like going to a friend’s house to play, which I did a lot when I was a child. Here is a list of my favourite games which my sister and I made up;-

Witches’ boarding school (hmmm, very much like Harry Potter, but we made it up first…)

Second World War (which involved us being very hungry evacuees and talking about powdered egg a lot)

Poorhouse (mmm, this involved us being horribly abused orphans, and eating crusts of bread)

WORKhouse (even worse than Poorhouse, we had to pull a plough, and had to collapse a lot from exhaustion. My sister didn’t enjoy this game very much, but it was my favourite and I was always pestering to play it…)

Bomb. We had a lamp-post outside our house which ticked fabulously. We pretended it was a bomb, and took it in turns to tie each other to it, after which we had to escape. I was EXCELLENT at this game 🙂

So spanking shoots are really very similar to what I used to do just for fun. Except that there’s actual spanking now, as opposed to imaginary cruelty. And it’s my job. Hooray!

Now I must go and pack, so I shall post more when I’m home on Sunday. EXCITED!

I am properly ill, it turns out. And how lovely that I’ve got a blog, otherwise I wouldn’t have anywhere public to make a big fuss about the symptoms. I had a shoot yesterday which I couldn’t cancel, and must have infuriated the makeup artist by blowing my nose and wiping off the makeup over and over again. She was very patient, and kept re-coating my nose in extra-thick foundation to hide the neon-glow…. And then she basically painted a whole different face on top of my one, and I looked fine in the pictures. Miraculous really – she even had something to stop my eyes being blood-shot. Have never modelled with flu before, am amazed how much a makeup artist can do to hide the evidence. We should all have one…

Is interesting that in bondage and spanking work, hardly anyone ever bothers with them. Gags tend to destroy makeup so I suppose it’d feel like a bit of a waste – and I’ve always been fascinated by what my hair does when I get spanked. It sort of re-arranges itself on my head and weaves itself into a weird kind of mat that sticks straight up. Which would be a total waste of anyone’s hard styling work. I’d really love to have a stylist who’d ensure that I ended a spanking with my hair behaving like a lovely, shiny waterfall. Huh. And without my makeup smeared on the sofa.

I can’t cope with being actually upright any more, so am going to lie down and drink some more Lucozade, which I’m heartily sick of now. I’m wishing that I belonged in an old fashioned girls’ school story (not for the first time…) and that I could be sent off to a sanatorium to recover from my long, serious illness….

‘No!’ Cried Amelia-Jane, ‘I simply must stay here and help the Upper IV to victory in the netball match against those beasts in Lower VB!’

The easy tears of someone who is not very well spilled down her pale cheeks, and Miss Newton knew that poor Amelia-Jane would not be playing netball again for some time. ‘My dear, you’ve had a fearful illness, and added to that awful shock for you and Flynn last term, you’re thoroughily exhausted. You’ll need a good rest before you can come back to school – so we’ll send you somewhere with good doctors who can make you well again’…..

Ahhhhhhhh 🙂

And I really thought that maybe I could be. Having worked as a spanking model and often written my own scripts and sometimes kind of directed them, I thought maybe it was time to have my own website and to be an ACTUAL PRODUCER. My boyfriend/Dom/Master (haven’t actually worked this out yet) is a proper successful bondage producer, so I’ve been watching him very beadily over the last few months and decided it didn’t look too hard to do.

So having enlisted his help, I planned a two day shoot as a sort of experiment to see if I’d be any good at telling people what to do.

No, I am jolly well not.

Niki Flynn, like the Good Fairy of Spanking, offered to model so I could practice on her, and since I love acting all bratty and horrible when we’re together, I though that’d be just super. I chose a super-lovely Top with years of experience, and a good photographer friend of mine offered the use of his beautiful spacious apartment. BDM (the boyfriend/Dom/Master) couldn’t have been more helpful, doing the whole director of photography bit AND wading in front of the camera to be the Top on the second day. Even the location owner kindly offered to do some spanking for us (OUCH! Niki and I both regretted asking for his help – he was VERY enthusiastic, with a terrifyingly good technique for a beginner!)

But I’m afraid I kind of hated it. I couldn’t concentrate on getting into character, which meant all the spanking hurt a LOT more than normal because I wasn’t in the right kind of headspace. And I HATED, HATED, HATED telling the Tops what to do. And being in charge of how much Niki got punished REALLY freaked me out. I’ve seen her getting spanked and caned both on film (mmmm, am a bit of a Niki-stalker) and in real life, but as soon as it was my responsibility to make sure everything was ok, I lost my nerve and kept wanting to cut.

Basically I suppose I felt guilty, guilty, guilty for making people do what I wanted them to. And I’ve discovered how much I really love being employed by someone else – it makes me feel all safe and comforted, and, well, sub.

So I shall do something with the stuff we shot (some of it is absolutely SUPER, I’m particularly excited about the spanking music video we made) and go back to being a humble model.

I wonder if there are subs who really enjoy being the boss in their non-sexual life? I obviously can’t cope at all, but surely some people can……